In the five years since she made her Bollywood debut, Taapsee Pannu has managed to accomplish the rare feat of making a niche for herself with solid, content-driven films while also becoming a commercially successful actor.

From Baby and Pink to now Mulk and Manmarziyaan, Taapsee’s choices are a reflection of her sorted, no-nonsense personality that one cannot help but get charmed by. She recently spoke with IWB about doing films that take away a part of her and her adorable relationship with her family. Excerpts:

Congratulations on the praise that you are getting for Mulk! You’ve now done lots of these intense roles but, these days, even reading the news is kind of emotionally draining. So, how do you deal with playing characters that have to go through so much trauma?

I say this in a funny way but I actually feel that I am getting crazier and losing my mental balance slowly with every film. Because it does take a part of you. I am not a trained actor, I may have to invest a lot of me in the film to get a certain emotion out. So much so that I have to literally brainwash myself to feel like that particular incident has happened to me to see how I’ll react to it in a real way. So most of my films have had these emotionally challenging roles. All of them have taken a piece out of my heart and brain which is never going to come back, I feel.

It does drain you a lot and I have to go on a mental detox after each of these films has gotten over. Otherwise, it gets a little difficult to get back to normal. I have shot most of these films in one go, so every day for 30-40 days I am psyching my brain out into believing that I am this character who has gone through all this. After a month of this, one fine day you wake up to the feeling that this has actually happened to you. So you have to go back to normal by totally detaching yourself from things for a bit. I wish I had a switch to turn on and off but it doesn’t work like that.

And now that you’ve done so many films that have dealt with social causes, is there one particular cause that is very close to your heart and you’re invested in personally?

The most important one that is really close to my heart is gender equality, which was in a way dealt with in Pink. But there are other things as well. Since I am a hopeless patriot, what we dealt with in Mulk is a part of that as well. There are so many other issues that our country is facing, lack of education is one which I deeply feel for. I hate to see child labour. It makes me very sad to see little kids working instead of going to school. So there are a few things that are in my heart and mind.

But you asked the closest, that’s the gender inequality problem, be it at the grassroots level where a girl child is not even allowed to take birth to a point where people like you and me who are living in a very urban, modern society still struggle with some or the other gender inequality issue at the workplace or in life in general. It is present at every level. So that is one cause very close to my heart.

You’re clearly very passionate about these issues. But being a Bollywood actor, you’re trolled whether you talk about them or not. People have been criticising you since the days of Pink for stuff like this. How do you deal with that?

First of all, I don’t let such people affect me who have barely any brains to think about what they are asking before asking it. Creating issues is their livelihood and I don’t think after working so hard today I wanna stoop to their level and answer them. And for larger audiences who have the brains, they probably understand the fact that I am an actor, not a social activist. So my way of dealing with or presenting issues close to my heart is different from that of a social activist or a political leader. So it won’t be through time and again taking a loudspeaker and standing on top of my building. I will use my work as a medium to express what I believe in. And that’s exactly what I have done, be it with Pink or Mulk.

Now if I suddenly start talking about a cause, people would not even bother listening to me because all they are interested to know or talk to us is when our films are around the corner. So that is when they ask you about it. And when they ask if it means anything to me I say, ‘of course’. That is why I have taken time out of my life to make an effort to do the film otherwise it’s not like I have lack of opportunities to choose from other easy, safe films to be a part of.

The Manmarziyaan trailer has been out for a while and it looks great. I especially love the tagline ‘love is not complicated, people are’. Do you also believe that? Because I feel like millennial love can be pretty complicated.

Actually, love is not. It is very clear in terms of definition. It’s pretty clear in feelings. Everyone in love feels a similar way. But it’s just that people are so different from each other that their way of expressing love changes. That is what we explore in Manmarziyaan. Like, someone who is as moody as me or Rumi (her character in the film), the way they express love is gonna change every moment. I am a very moody person and so are a lot of girls today, the millennials, so to say. So the way love comes across now is different from what it was like before. Earlier, it used to be one particular way, people used to follow a pattern. Love at first sight, aankhon aankhon mein pyaar, courting, following each other, all that used to happen. Now everyone is so busy that for love they don’t go into a stalkerish crazy mode. They have their own way of approaching love which is according to their convenience. So all those things come into play because people have become so much more practical.

Was this film also emotionally draining?

Oh yeah, yeah. So I haven’t really done many love stories in my career. I have been looking forward to doing one. When I got Manmarziyaan I thought all those prayers have been answered because this is the perfect love story to be a part of as an actor. It will show you all possible shades of a woman because this love story is, if I may say so, from the perspective of a woman. It’s her journey of how she looked at love when she was slightly immature and how that translates into something that changes her and how her definition of love and emotions change over a period of time.

It was physically and mentally, in all ways, draining. I am not a very romantic person in real life and I have not had these types of intense love stories to derive inspiration out of. So I had to really depend on my director Anurag Kashyap and I don’t know how I’ve done it. I’ve still not seen the film. I honestly don’t know if I have done it because it’s not a film about a cause that I know that I’ve felt it when I’ve done it. It’s a love story, entirely fictional, so I don’t know how I’ve performed in it. So that is where this character was slightly uncomfortable for me to do. Even though Rumi is very close to how I am, where the romance is concerned, I am not like her.

I wanted to talk about your family a little. I understand that you live and work with your younger sister Shagun?

I am more of a passive partner in a wedding planning company that I started for her with my best friend. They run it. I only come in where there are any critical decisions or meetings happening.

What is your relationship with your sister like?

We used to have such nasty fights with each other that I once ended up banging her head on a desk because of which she got a huge cut on her eyebrow that needed stitches immediately. That shook me so much. I remember it so clearly even today, I must have been 12-13 then and I saw so much blood coming out of her eyebrow. I froze in that position for hours. After that, forget about hitting her, I don’t let anyone else trouble her either. I became such a possessive sister which I am till date. She’s someone I can literally kill or get killed for.

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265.8k Likes, 799 Comments – Taapsee Pannu (@taapsee) on Instagram: “Things I missed terribly last 6 months …… #Holiday #BelatedBirthdayTrip #AnnoySibling #Puchi…”

When I went to the South to work, I missed her so I called her to Hyderabad, made sure she got a job there, and then I got her with me to Mumbai and made sure she’s occupied here as well doing whatever she wants to do. I just want her beside me. We’ve been sharing beds and rooms since she was born and till date we do that. We also share everything from clothes to shoes to socks because we’re almost the same size. Apart from lingerie thankfully and boyfriends, we share everything. I always say that she is the most constant better half of my life.

Has your relationship with your parents changed since you became famous?

It’s not got anything to do with being famous, it’s to do with ageing. Because when you’re young you don’t like all the restrictions parents put on you. Especially being from Delhi, where you can’t be out after dark, you can’t hang out in certain places. You dislike all this to the point where you feel like I want to fight with them for everything and anything now, be that rebel. I was very good at being that. I used to find reasons sometimes to rebel. But I thank them so much today for bringing me up the way they did because that’s the reason I have my feet firmly on the ground. My basics and ethics are clear in life because of that. I have a very black and white approach to life because of the kind of upbringing I’ve had.

Like, till date, my father manages all my finances. I have no idea where my money is going. I know where it’s coming from, but I don’t know where it’s going. I just leave it up to him, I just keep signing cheques and papers. My dad is a finance man, so he decides everything. That’s the kind of blind dependence I have on them now. My parents used to say ki jab tum kamaoge tab pata chalegi paise ki value but it happened in reverse with me because the moment I started earning I started enjoying spending it so much. So thank God for my father who makes sure that as soon as my money comes in it goes out in some investment so I don’t go crazy spending it.

Finally, you’re from Delhi but it’s got a bit of a reputation now. What do you make of that?

Delhi as a city has got a bad reputation but you know it’s like when you have a kid and he has certain bad habits you’re like jo bhi hai it’s mine. It’s the same feeling I have for my city. It’s a big reason for me being the way I am. I call myself street smart in a lot of ways. I am a very independent person who can do her work and guard her life without much help also because of my city. Because it made me the tough person I am today. And so many times I get films because I have the lingo of a Delhi girl. And as Shoojit Sircar says, every person in Delhi is a character, so you have a certain uniqueness about yourself. I owe a lot to my city for that. I am extremely proud of the fact that I am from Delhi. I still call that home. I’m still a hardcore Delhi girl, it’s been my introduction from day one and I will make sure Delhi never goes out of me.