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Arunima Maharshi

IWB Blogger

Soulful Writer Ruby Dhal On Finding Healing Through Writing And Her Beautiful Ongoing Journey

  • IWB Post
  •  August 5, 2019

“I write to unite all that has crumbled inside of me; I write to heal.” That’s the poetess giving you a sight of her home within, from where pour the beautiful words.  

Writer, Poetess and Author, Ruby Dhal’s writing speaks to your heart and treats it with warmth. A lot of her pieces have had that impact on me, and as I gather from her Instagram, there are more than 2.5 L people who echo the same sentiments. Being able to find comfort in someone’s words, you’d agree, is a rare blessing today.

Ruby started writing at a very young age, and words became her escape sooner than she realised. “Any time I felt pain or sadness, any time I felt alone, I turned it outwards and wrote it all down on paper.” Her Instagram, through which she is sharing her raw heartfelt pieces, for almost four years now, has never made her feel vulnerable – it is how she continues taking care of her ‘social media family’. What a beautiful feeling it must be, finding healing and solace in your writing, and unselfishly offering the same to others!

More about Ruby’s journey into and with writing, and her books, Memories Unwound and A Handful of Stars, below:

You have a very unique style to your prose! I am sure you must get that a lot?

My friends and family normally call me a ‘chatterbox’ because I don’t stop talking. Even when my friends come to me for advice, I sit down and talk endlessly about their problem and try to iron out their problem as best as I can. Because I see my readers as an extension of my friends and family, I write to them as I would write to my friends. Since I would try my best to help my friend see the other side of the situation as best I can through my words, I try to do the same with my readers.

Leave a ❤️ if you know how this feels! How’s everyone’s Saturday going anyway? I’m on my way to @adoctorwrites’s charity event which is today in Liverpool Street! I will be one of the headliners, performing some poetry, blabbering a little, trying to make people laugh a little – you get the gist! If you’re in London and didn’t know about the event, it’s not too late as you can still buy tickets online on at the event! Just check my insta-story or check @adoctorwrites’s page for more info. I hope to see some of you there xx #rubydhal @r.dhalwriter

6,359 Likes, 260 Comments – Ruby Dhal (@r.dhalwriter) on Instagram: “Leave a ❤️ if you know how this feels! How’s everyone’s Saturday going anyway? I’m on my way to…”

One wish that you would make with ‘A Handful of Stars’?

I would like to go back to my younger self and reassure her that she does make it, she does come out the other side and her healing gets easier and softer as time passes – this would help so many moments of confusion and pain in my life when I was at the brink of giving up.

Both your books talk about healing; how has your journey of understanding your identity contributed in that of healing?

The biggest hindrance to anyone’s healing journey is having low self-worth and low esteem, because then you don’t want to help yourself. You think that you don’t deserve to heal or feel better because maybe there’s something wrong with you, and that’s why xyz happened to you. But that’s not true, and the more you understand yourself, your worth and what you deserve, the easier your healing journey becomes.

Ruby Dhal

For me personally, when I realised my worth and understood that everything that happened to me was making me a stronger and better person – I welcomed my growth. I welcomed the pain, the experiences, the heartache. I welcomed everything with open arms. And when I did that, healing welcomed me.

Was there a particular phase in your past that brought you home and closer to the understanding of self-healing?

I think the one thing that brought me closest to understanding self-healing was when I was surrounded by some of the most loving people in my life who didn’t give up on me even when I had, and that’s when I accepted that I won’t let what I’m going through defeat me or bring me down. My readers and their reactions to my words, as well as the growth of my page and the impact it was having on the lives of people everywhere helped me understand that I’m not alone on this journey. Everyone is experiencing something and it is up to us, as humans, to help each other out and lessen the burden.

The day you find yourself will be the most incredible day of your life. You will stop relying on others to make you happy, your smile will come from within and you won’t search for love in other people’s eyes, because you will see it every time you look in the mirror. The day you find yourself, you will wonder why you spent so long chasing people who didn’t love you, why you wasted so many years walking on paths that resembled jungles of messed up feelings where you found nothing but darkness, tears and heartbreak. But it won’t affect you anymore, because you will have a hold of yourself in every way. You will have your emotions, your heart and your soul and you won’t give it to anyone, because no one else can take care of it the way you can. The day you find yourself, you will realise that lovers are not meant to take you on a journey but walk alongside you, they are not meant to fulfil you but appreciate ow complete you are in yourself. Lovers are not meant to break your heart each day, they are not meant to make you feel unworthy or unloved. The day you find yourself, you will realise how incredibly magnificent you are – imperfect yes but filled with so much goodness and so much light that you will strive to be better each day. The day you find yourself will be the most beautiful day, because after that, you will never accept less than what you deserve. #rubydhal @r.dhalwriter

8,198 Likes, 218 Comments – Ruby Dhal (@r.dhalwriter) on Instagram: “The day you find yourself will be the most incredible day of your life. You will stop relying on…”

I read about your mum’s early demise, and one can only imagine the impact it must have on your life. Do you hear yourself having silent dialogues with her; if you’d be comfortable in talking about those monologues?

To be honest, I don’t feel like she’s separate from me. I feel like every time I experience something good or bad – she’s watching over me. When I was much younger and going through a lot of pain, I used to speak to her daily. It is really sad when I think about it. Imagining my younger self crying alone in her room and speaking to her mum makes me want to go back and give myself a hug.

Those conversations lessened the more I saw her as an extension of myself and the less I thought that she wasn’t here anymore. I got a tattoo that says ‘Dear Mum’ in 2017 and it’s supposed to symbolise that my life is a letter to her and I hope that she’s reading it just as I’m experiencing it.

The memories that you feel became the strongest fuel for your writing?

In terms of my prose – my heartbreak was the biggest fuel for my writing. Any time I felt pain or sadness, any time I felt alone, I turned it outwards and wrote it all down on paper.

Trust me, I know how difficult it is. I’m sending you all lots of love on this beautiful Sunday. I hope you all have an absolutely gorgeous day! Happy Father’s Day to all those wonderful fathers whose shoulders we have swung on, catching a glimpse of how close the sky is if we just have faith in ourselves. #rubydhal @r.dhalwriter

13k Likes, 303 Comments – Ruby Dhal (@r.dhalwriter) on Instagram: “Trust me, I know how difficult it is. I’m sending you all lots of love on this beautiful Sunday. I…”

When it comes to fiction – which is my first and foremost love, dream and passion – my first novel (which is still incomplete and hidden deep in a folder in my laptop) was inspired solely by my experiences following my mother’s death. I’m definitely going to finish that novel one day and share it with the world because what I experienced, what my brother and dad experienced and what we all went through together as a family is something that I think people everywhere need to read about.

How did writing help in closing old chapters and in moving on to new ones?

Writing has healing power. Art is extremely therapeutic in detoxing your mind and emotions and helping you feel better. So, as a by-product of writing down my feelings, I was able to clear my mind and come to terms with a lot of things in my life that I hadn’t before. This allowed to find my peace with several experiences that I hadn’t been able to before. Just by writing down how I felt I was able to move on from the past and the hurt that it caused me.

A page from my first book ‘Memories Unwound’ which is available to purchase from the link in my bio now! My third book ‘My Hope For Tomorrow’ is going to be available to pre-order very soon and I cannot wait to share this beautiful new gift with you all!! Love and light, as always 💕 #rubydhal @r.dhalwriter

8,043 Likes, 210 Comments – Ruby Dhal (@r.dhalwriter) on Instagram: “A page from my first book ‘Memories Unwound’ which is available to purchase from the link in my bio…”

In one of your earlier interviews, answering the question on advice to young writers, you talked about how one should just write – first their own sorrows, and then of others, too. I’m curious to know about your early years of writing, did sharing and putting your heart and mind out, ever bring in the feeling of vulnerability?

Absolutely! When I initially started my Instagram page, I blocked around 100 people from my personal page from being able to see what I was writing about. This is because my pieces were so raw and real that I’d feel exposed to those individuals who had seen my grow up. Sharing my writing with my readers, however, didn’t make me feel as vulnerable. I guess it’s because I’m hidden behind a screen and they don’t really get to see me and so I feel safe somehow. But yes, when I do come across my readers in person and they discuss my pieces, then I get a little shy. It’s difficult, even now, sharing things that give others an insight into your deepest fears and insecurities and emotions. But it’s a journey, a beautiful one.

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