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Date 11: Thanks To This Confused Blind Date, Drop Pati Might Have Found THE Guy For Her

  • IWB Post
  •  June 9, 2016


The fault in our stars

“Shubh shubh bolo ki ye wala ladka pasand a jaye,” mom whispers to dad.

“I don’t know, maybe bhagya pratikul hai,” sometimes dad uses ‘shuddh’ Hindi words that go right over my head.

“Dad, stop it. You sound like an astrologer.”

“Arey there must be some problem in the stars, otherwise, why would a gabru jawan like Rocky won’t want to marry,” sighs dad (it appears that he has been mortally offended by my last date’s reluctance to marry before Sallu Bhai.

Now this is one point where I am on the same page with dad. That drop dead gorgeous body and this vow to celibacy don’t go together. What a waste!

Seeing both of us dejected, mom takes up the reins.

“Arey chodo na, raat gayi bat gayi.”

Actually, the phrase is incorrect. Much to my chagrin- Raat tak baat pahuchi hi kaha. *Sigh*

Hah…I agree, there must be some fault in our stars!

Why am I such a loudmouth?

“Ok who’s the new guy?” Dad tries to get a grip on himself by munching on a Cadbury Silk.

Oh btw, after Rocky said no to marriage, dad got the perfect excuse to bail out from gymming saying that Rocky has insulted him.

Mom: Aakash is a photographer, who has had quite a few successful exhibitions to his credit.

Dad doesn’t look amused.

“Photographer? Sudha, photography me bank balance kaha se ayega!

“Dad, do you know, how much photographers earn these days? I will give you a hint. More than the many MBAs who are seen scouring for jobs.”

“See, our daughter is also interested,” mom sounds happy.

Woah…What? Why am I such a loudmouth?

“I was speaking against your misconception about photography but when did I say that I was interested?”

And thus, my parents once again use their favorite clichéd line –Beta ek bar mil to lo, kya pata accha lag jaye?

Meeting Mr. Price Tag

I am late. Seriously, sometimes I think that scaling Mt. Everest is easier than driving through a traffic-clogged Jaipur. After entering the restaurant, I see that my date is already there, sitting impatiently on the nearest table.

“Sorry, I am late. Hope you weren’t waiting for long,”  I blurt out before pulling a chair and sitting in front of him. I skip the introductory part in haste.

There were not many people in the restaurant. Apart from Aakash and me, there was just another couple who was sitting a few tables apart.

Aakash is decent looking with a tight jawline and by the looks of it, he doesn’t seem to be amused that I am late.

“Hi…What route did you take while coming here?”

Woah, what kind of question is this?

“Err…The route in front of the railway station.”

He shakes his head, “If you had taken the shortcut over the Khasa Kothi flyover then you would have saved at least half a litre of petrol. That amounts to almost Rs. 35.”

To say that I am stunned would be an understatement.

“Ohh…Thanks for the information.”

He vehemently shakes his head.

“No no, you don’t understand the gravity of the situation. If you waste 35 bucks every day, you waste Rs. 1050 in a month. That means you will lose Rs. 12,600 in the whole year. Now, can we place our order?”

I was stunned before, but now I am speechless.

…Of French fries and ‘overpriced’ potatoes

“Tell me, why the French Fries are so overpriced?”

The waiter’s expression is incredulous.

“Sorry, sir?”

“Kya sorry? Potatoes are available for Rs. 20 a kilo in the market and add to it the salt and oil. Still it won’t cost as much as you are charging!” Aakash looks scandalized.

“Sir I think you should speak with the manager.”

“Of course, I will. Wait here while I explain this to the manager. You will have to learn cost cutting after our marriage,” without giving me any time to react, Aakash goes with the waiter in his tow.

Now I see red. The only reason why I didn’t get out of the restaurant was that I wanted to give Aakash a piece of his mind and to explain him (not politely) that my chances of marrying this price tag of a guy are as much as Hillary Clinton voting for Donald Trump.

It seems that mom and dad are competing against each other to see that who brings the more abominable potential groom for me.

Did he just call her Drop Pati???

“Bhaiya, ye kya hai, I asked for lukewarm water but this is so hot. How am I supposed to drink it? We will deduct from the bill for this stupid mistake!”

I look at the other two people in the restaurant and see that much like Aakash, this girl has also entered in an altercation with a waiter.

“Can’t we just let it go? He will bring another glass of water,” the boy says warily.

“Oh no, but they are charging money for all this, aren’t they? We shouldn’t let it go!”

“With just a little more trying, you will be the perfect match for Aakash,” I mutter under my breath.

The guy looks oddly laid back and irritated. There’s a boyish look on his face, one that gives kind of a happy-go-lucky impression. I see him glance at me before once again turning towards the girl.

“Drop Pati, since we have come here, all we have spoken about is your dad’s business, how you feel about this restaurant being overpriced and that by the time you turn 30, you plan to save Rs. 25 lakh. Isn’t there any other topic?”

Whaaat is going on here? I can’t believe what I just heard.

A case of mistaken identities

“The manager was adamant and so was I,” Aakash smiles victoriously. His next words blow the air out of my head.

“But Ritika, I must say I am disappointed. Being a CA, you should understand the importance of cost management.”

“Aakash are you on weed because of the ‘overpriced’ French fries? Who the hell is Ritika?”

“I am Ritika, you have a problem with that?” the other girl is looking at me disdainfully.

The happy-go-lucky guy now chips in.

“Wait you are not Drop Pati,” he sounds shocked, looking at her.

“Err…That would be me?” I raise my hand.

Four people stare at each other in disbelief with the waiters looking at us with even more surprise.

So, the ‘price tag’ guy  with whom I was talking till now turns out to be Suresh Kataria, a Chartered Accountant, who came to meet his date Ritika (the other girl and I must say a perfect match for him). While the happy-go-lucky guy who was sitting with Ritika is the Photographer Aakash, my ‘original’ date. (Yayyy!)

Tale of another date

The scene after Suresh and Ritika left (I heard them discuss which route to take to save the most petrol):

“I am telling you Drop Pati, this dating thing is not for me. I still can’t believe how my parents managed to convince me to say yes.”

Ya, tell me about it!

“I heard you are a photographer.”

Yes, I click wildlife. My dream is to do a photo series on the Lions of the Gir forest.”

“Oh that sounds cool.”

“No offence, but lately this dating thing has disrupted my life completely. And all this is because of a stupid deal with my parents that if this doesn’t work, they won’t pester me about marriage.”

I don’t know why, but Aakash didn’t feel like someone whom I had just met. For the next few hours, over a few plates of ‘overpriced’ French Fries, we compared notes and shared stories about our miserably failed dating experiences. He spoke about his travels in the Himalayas for a project and for the first time in months, it felt really good to be my usual chirpy-self without any pretence. *sigh*

Is this the beginning of something new altogether? *fingers-crossed*

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