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Vena Ramphal

Celebrity relationship coach based in the UK. In 2017 her award winning TV sex education show put Vena at the forefront of the movement to improve access to information about pleasure, bodies, emotional connection and physical intimacy. She is known for making conversations about sex soulful, intelligent and uplifting. A yogini and classical Indian dancer, Vena brings you light, delight and fun through her weekly column.

#AskVena: I’m In My Mid-40s And Want To Know If There’s Anything To Make The Vagina Tighter

  • IWB Post
  •  September 29, 2018

Happily, the answer is, ‘Yes!’ The vagina is a ring of muscle. Like other muscles in your body, you can contract and relax it. This has a toning and tightening effect. An added benefit is that it makes your vagina more sensitised to sexual pleasure sensations.

There are several pelvic muscles. The first step in tightening the vagina is for you to become aware of these muscles and how they feel when you contract and relax them. In societies all over the world, we are so conditioned to ignore the entire genital area that most people are not aware of what these muscles feel like. But the good news is that it’s easy to change that!

Here is the simplest way:

The next time you are urinating, squeeze so that you stop the flow. Do this a few times so you get used to feeling those muscles move. It might not be a very big movement but you can observe that it has an impact. One moment you’re peeing, the next you stop. Then start. And stop.

Okay, so now you have experienced that your pelvic muscles contract and relax.

The second step is to practice that contraction and relaxation when you are not peeing. Contract…and relax. Contract…and relax. It may feel like nothing is happening. Remind yourself that you observed your pee stop and start, so you know for sure that something IS happening. It’s just that it is a new sensation and it might take a little time for you to feel it. Contract and relax betweeen five and 50 times. Start with a five, and build up to 20.

Do NOT strain hard. Be gentle. After all, you don’t want to pull a muscle! You can do this exercise standing, seated or lying down on your back. Whichever of these postures you choose make sure that your spine is aligned in a comfortable, natural line (not hunched over, slouched, or with your neck to one side). This will greatly enhance the benefits of the exercise.

Our muscles are not just physical clumps. They are very responsive to emotion. In fact, the pelvic muscles in particular – for both women and men – catch and hold emotion. You can enhance your practice of muscle contraction by doing it while listening to this sensuality meditation.

This will bring a sense of wellbeing and ease into your vagina and develop your sensuality as a whole.

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