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Vena Ramphal

Celebrity relationship coach based in the UK. In 2017 her award winning TV sex education show put Vena at the forefront of the movement to improve access to information about pleasure, bodies, emotional connection and physical intimacy. She is known for making conversations about sex soulful, intelligent and uplifting. A yogini and classical Indian dancer, Vena brings you light, delight and fun through her weekly column.

#AskVena: I Have Fallen For A Guy At Work. Should I Date Him?

  • IWB Post
  •  June 22, 2018

Tabrisha is a successful entrepreneur, running her own business. Through her professional circle she recently met a lovely guy. The sparks have been flying ever since. She feels he really gets her.

She asked me about the advantages and disadvantages of getting into a relationship with someone in her professional network.

If you’re really passionate about your work, you are likely to be attracted to colleagues because they are interested in the same things as you. This is especially true of entrepreneurs who work for themselves. It can be a lonely business and they feel that most people don’t understand what they are going through or how to relate to their passion for work, and their lifestyle choices. Colleagues in the same field are more likely to share their passion or at least understand and respect it.

The advantage: if the person you’re dating understands your passion for your work it provides common ground and emotional connection.

However, and it’s a big however, if you are in the same professional network your relationship will play out in that microcosm. You run the risk that if things go wrong, other people – your close business associates – will ‘need’ an explanation. If a breakup gets messy, do you trust your ex to speak well of you? Do you trust yourself to be discreet? This is your professional reputation on the line.

Also, will the two of you stop talking about work in the evenings? Or will you be curled up on the sofa going over your five-year projections while the rest of the country left work behind hours ago? You would need to have very strong boundaries and agreements about separating your work life and personal time.

If you’re considering a relationship with a colleague, remember to be circumspect. Of course, if you meet, fall passionately in love and feel that it’s just meant to be, trust yourself and each other to work out the practical details.

 

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