Celebrity relationship coach based in the UK. In 2017 her award winning TV sex education show put Vena at the forefront of the movement to improve access to information about pleasure, bodies, emotional connection and physical intimacy. She is known for making conversations about sex soulful, intelligent and uplifting. A yogini and classical Indian dancer, Vena brings you light, delight and fun through her weekly column.
#AskVena: Can The Size Of A Man’s Penis Be Judged By His Shoe Size?
- IWB Post
- March 3, 2018
I’ve gone for something a bit different this week: debunking sex myths. I think it’s informative while being fun, and a bit silly, too.
So you’re in for a read that is lighthearted, but which gives a strong message. And I am definitely excited to be busting the following eight myths about sex, and sowing some very important seeds of sex education. Here you go:
You can tell the size of a man’s penis by his shoe size.
No, you can’t. They bear no relation to each other and if you’re relying on your date’s shoe size as a preview, you’re going to be disappointed. Or, maybe surprised. The body tissue that develops into the penis does not have a special relationship with the structure of a man’s feet. This is a totally random myth.
Little penises produce less sperm.
No. The penis does not make sperm. Sperm is made in the testes. It travels through the penis but is not made there. The amount of sperm is determined by various factors, such as hormones, stress/relaxation, tiredness/energy, and how long it has been since he last ejaculated.
Condoms ruin sex.
Condoms make for safer sex, they don’t ruin it. They do change the sensation, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.
If the man pulls out before he ejaculates that means you won’t get pregnant.
Please don’t believe this myth. It could land you with an unwanted pregnancy. Ejaculatory fluid usually starts to leak out before a man climaxes. This is sometimes called pre-ejaculation, but it is still likely to have sperm in it. Even if he says he has good control it’s not worth the risk. Remember that your vagina will be warm so he won’t be able to feel when his fluid starts to leak out – he can’t distinguish your fluids from his. He is relying on the contraction of his muscles to know when he is about to ejaculate. By then, it’s too late.
Having sex with the girl on top means she won’t get pregnant.
Whatever positions you’re in, penis-in-vagina sex without some form of birth control means that there is the possibility of pregnancy. Until you reach menopause, that is, then you can relax!
You only get STIs (sexually transmitted infections) if you don’t wash your genitals properly.
Unfortunately, good genital hygiene does not protect you from STIs. Of course, washing properly is good for your own comfort and cleanliness. But it is not a substitute for condoms or other STI protection. Sexual health is the basis of sustainable sexual pleasure. It is extremely important. It is important to go to a sexual health clinic or doctor to check your health regularly. Even if you only have one partner.
Some women don’t actually have a clitoris.
Every woman has a clitoris. Each one is unique. They vary a lot in shape, size, and appearance. The labia also vary – for some women, the labia are so beautifully big that they hide the clitoris. In others, the clitoris peeks out. Get to know your own. Make friends with it. It’s the source of much of your pleasure.
You can’t have sex when you’re on your period.
You absolutely can have sex when you’re on your period. Many people find that they enjoy sex more when they’re menstruating because their bodies are more sensitive so they feel the pleasure more keenly. Do what feels comfortable for you. But don’t feel that you can’t be sexual when you’re menstruating.
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