STORY OF A HEROINE: I am a Woman, not a Woe-Man
- IWB Post
- March 13, 2014
Let us introduce you to dear Seema Agarwal, the courageous Jaipur woman who has agreed to be a part of our Women’s Day campaign – ‘Makeover: I m a Woman, not a woe-man’. As you all know the idea behind this campaign is to give the image, career and individual makeover to a woman who has undergone life sufferings because of family/customs/societal pressures or stereotypes.
Mrs. Seema is a widow, lives in Jaipur and has 2 beautiful daughters. Though she is financially independent today, she has lived a life full of tortures and taunts by the society after her husband passed away 10 years ago. The motto behind her makeover is to to prepare her as a much stronger woman who can change the narrow perception of our society which thinks life of women like her is over after such tragic situations break into life.
She begins to share her story with us: “There comes moments in one’s life when he feels this is the end and now there is no way he could live another day. Same delusion was faced by me when my husband passed away at such a young age. He was a Banker in Jaipur and our family was financially dependent on him. Our daughters were very small at that time.”
Today Seema is a teacher by profession. She teaches Hindi in St. Anslems Pink City School in Malviya Nagar Jaipur. She is earning well and is taking care of her daughters in a brilliant way. The 2 girls are now grown up and look just as beautiful as their mother. But was this journey smooth all these years?
She continues, “I knew it was not going to be a rosy picture soon after his death. I was stressed by the societal norms that were forcing me to remarry. They tried to convince me that a woman alone can’t carry on her own, moreover dreaded me on how would I be able to nurture my kids alone! I still remember those horrifying 4-6 months I had to undergo all those illogical concepts they tried to force on me. I couldn’t take a decision not because I was confused and was ready to give in, but because I lacked courage to rebel these erroneous thoughts.”
“I thought it’s all over. My life is over and so are my daughters’. I stopped feeling my existence and thought if I was a puppet in the hands of other people. And then I thought to myself – if this is going to continue, my daughters will never live a life I and my husband dreamt of. My daughters’ eyes showed me there is a reason for me to stand up again and live. How could I give up? My husband would have never wanted that. So the 1st thing I did was a car I bought and learnt how to drive it. This was a step towards our independent lives.”
And what about the decision of remarrying? Seema answers: “I decided not to. I determined to take their care on my own. After my husband, it is me who has to give them a good life & hence I fought the society’s ‘rules’ to prove the otherwise. My husband and I were separated because of a natural cause and not because we had divorced or something. It wasn’t a ‘decision’, it was an incident. And hence I thought that I don’t need a new man to take care of us. I took the plunge.”
And how did the society revert? “The taunts continued for a while but that didn’t block me. I joined the school and put my earrings towards the betterment of our lives. The proof? My elder daughter has completed her B.tech and MBA from a reputed college and is working with Infosys as the Company consultant. The younger one is studying Economics in Delhi University. All this happened because I was courageous and took the step to move ahead.”
So now when her life looks all settled down, why she wants to be a part of this campaign? “I have a message for all the women who have similar situation like mine” quips Seema. “I want to tell them that a woman is the strongest creation of God. She is capable enough to act like a father as well and make the kids strong and intact with family values. I request all the women to not take their life as a burden rather live life with dignity so that this world doesn’t call us pitiable, weak and dependent.”
Seema is strong enough to speak about what had happened to her when she lost her husband; she is strong enough to tell her story to all of us irrespective of what some of us will think about her. She represents a strong woman – a strong wife – a strong mother – and a strong idol. We are glad we met her.
TOGETHER WITH SEEMA WE WANT TO SPREAD THE MESSAGE THAT EACH WOMAN WAS BORN TO BE HAPPY. WE DON’T WANT TO SEE WIDOWS ABANDONED IN ASHRAMS. WE WILL GIVE THEM THE INSPIRATION TO LIVE A NEW LIFE!