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  • She Says

Shailaza Singh: a single parent, a shakti-woman

  • IWB Post
  •  March 7, 2015


“No matter how much black makes you look beautiful, it is just not the shade for me. I have a colorful life to look ahead’’, says Shailaza Singh. Shailaza is a single parent to a 8 yr old girl and an independent working lady. Today she is sharing her story so that some of us can be inspired to live a life of the dignity just like her.

My story:

I belong to a Rajput family. My married life was a case of the domestic violence and dowry. My husband used to drink and to physically abuse me repeatedly. I decided to give birth to our child thinking it is the only solution to bring peace but I was wrong.DSC_0224

Since childhood I was taught about the self-respect and hence, I decided to move out of my in-laws’ house after 3 yrs of my marriage. I shifted to my parental home seeing their support for me and my daughter.DSC_0167

After sometime, due to excess alcohol, my husband passed away. And then began my real fight. Relatives asked me to go back to my in-laws and support them.DSC_0160

The stage of realization:

I realized I was better off without anyone who had hurt me in the past. I continued to live with my parents and took up a full time job so that I don’t have to depend on my father’s earning. Thereby, I realized that living with her maternal grandparents, my daughter will get a 360 degree nurturing.DSC_0187


I think a lot about my daughter’s future and security. What if I am no more tomorrow, whom is she going to depend on?DSC_0168

Jaipur has no child-care facility for single mothers. If I go to work in the morning, who will take care of my daughter for the whole day? Today she has her grandparents, but what about future? In short, I have no security for my daughter.DSC_0163

Author J.K Rowling was able to give almost 5 yrs to write the Harry Potter novel, without any earnings! How? Because UK govt. helped her run the house financially. I miss such good schemes in our country.DSC_0170

Emotional strength:

I don’t think woman needs anything called ‘emotional support’. She is ‘Shakti’.DSC_0213


In the beginning, not everyone understood when I said ‘I am a single mother’. I had to give a dictionary meaning.DSC_0214

Another problem that most of us face is the trust issue. We cannot be friends with a married man because we can break his marriage (also). We cannot be efficient at workplace because we could not make our marriage work out. Bullsh*t.DSC_0171

Daddy’s little girl:

As far as my daughter is concerned, I haven’t told her about her daddy yet. I haven’t told her that he is dead and cannot come back. Small kids are sensitive and I am waiting for the right age to gently disclose everything.DSC_0192

So that she is not caught in an indifferent situation at school, we have made her call my father ‘Papa’. So now she knows she has a ‘Papa’ to talk about when it is being discussed among her little friends.DSC_0182

Second marriage:

I am married to my work. I am at a stage where I BELIEVE that a woman can do it all alone. I don’t feel the need of a man in my life. I am doing everything for my family that a man would do.DSC_0204

I will ‘choose’ to get married, if that ever happens. I have stepped out of the customs, so it is going to be me who would decide anything about marriage not the society.


Yes, I do feel lonely at times when I am not working or my little daughter is not taking me out for a picnic! During such times I go shopping, read books and even do some anonymous internet chatting! Ha-ha.DSC_0199

Future plans:

I plan to open an NGO for women like me and their children. I know a 3k salary is not going to feed you anything nowadays. I want to support women who are fighting their unfortunate circumstances, just want to give them a direction and make them utilize their potential in a right way.DSC_0184

How wonderful it would be if we have single-moms group in Jaipur! I really look forward to something like this where city’s single women meet, gossip, eat, drink, shop and plan vacations together!DSC_0221


Her stature, voice and enigma are strong. And no, it is not because of her black dress and dark eye-liner. This is because this woman is no more dependent on anything for her happiness. She creates her own happiness, everyday.

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