Ms. Fatasstic Had Her Scoop Of Food-Shaming At A Wedding!
- IWB Post
- March 17, 2016
Phewwww…. finally the wedding is over. O! no no, I didn’t get married. *blushing*
It was a friends’ wedding. And, I miss the dance, the selfies, the crazy nights, the gossip sessions with the friends, and of course, the yummy food. *drooling*
Oh! The yummy food reminds me of some ugly comments and nasty glares of a few people, “the food-shamers”, as I call them. I suppose their only task in the wedding was to see how much I ate, what I had on my plate, and then give me as much Gyaan on the same. Then, there were others who just gave me muft ki advice on what’s wrong with my body and how can I correct it.
Day 1: Dance Rehearsals
After much debate and arguments we, ‘the school gang’ of the bride, decided on the song, Ghagra of YJHD. The choreographer started teaching us the steps, but we were busy chatting and giggling. He pointed at me and said,
“Baatein baad me kar lena. Dance se bhi weight kum hota hai. Ussi bahane kar lo thoda seriously.”
I was taken aback. But I chose not to react as it was the first day.
Day 2: Dance Rehearsals
Menu for dinner: Daal Makhani and Paneer *nom nom*
After the rehearsals, delicious dinner awaited us. Like hungry kids, we were greedily gorging on the yummy daal and paneer.
Enter in the scene: Some mausa or chacha of the bride.
Oh, did I tell you about my lean friend? She is also fed-up for being skinny-shamed. Uff….. People will comment on everything and everyone.
Anyhow, back to the dinner scene. Let’s call her Ms. Slender Bones.
Mausa or Chacha: Beta, kya hua tumhe. Khana kyu nahi khati ho. Aur lo thoda. Acche se khao.
Ms. Slender Bones: Ji, acche se hi khaa rahi hu. Yeh 3rd naan hai meri.
Maussa or Chacha: Chalo acchaa hai. Aur khao.
And, he puts a whole rasgulla in her mouth.
He then turns towards me, with a bowl full of Rasgullas. *hand gesturing* I say no.
Mausa or Chacha: Mana kyu kar rahi ho beta? Dieting par ho?
In my head, “Ugghhh!!! Controllllll yourself. Don’t reply back.”
Me: No no, I just don’t like rasgullas.
Mausa or Chacha: Okay. Ek tum ho aur ek tumhari ye dost *pointing to Ms. Slender bones* Why don’t you transfer some of your weight to her? You’ll both look better then. *laughs*
Ms. Slender bones and I looked at each other.
Day mmm….say 16: Lady Sangeet
Dressed up in heavy lehengas, lots of jewelry, and with those high heels slaying my feet, we were practicing our dance backstage.Well, the performance went very well. Yay! No one forgot the steps, thank heavens.
We were totally famished after that!
We all marched past the huddle around the food stalls and filled up our plates with whatever we could place our hands on. One of us was busy finding an empty table to sit at. Yeah, getting the food and arranging for a place to sit and eat at the Indian wedding functions requires a lot of effort and teamwork.
Yeah, getting the food and arranging for a place to sit and eat at the Indian wedding functions requires a lot of effort and teamwork.
At last, we were seated.
Next thing on the list: Eat like you have a fast tomorrow. Ha-Ha!
I was stuffing my face with noodles when a random Aunty stopped by our table.
Aunty: You are the bride’s friends, right?
We all nodded in unison, clueless of who she was.
Aunty: I am her Mumbai wali bua.
All of us: Ohhhh! *smiles*
Aunty: I really enjoyed your performance. It was great, especially the end dance number.
All of us: Thank you so much, Aunty!
Aunty: Aunty! Don’t call me aunty. I am not that old.
Hmm….. I took another forkful of those noddles. Mmmm… yummy…..!
Aunty: *looks at my plate* Saara khana tum hi khaogi ya humare liye bhi chodogi kuch? *evil laugh* Waise you should control a bit. You are also of her (bride) age only, right?
I was just looking at her blankly.
Aunty: I mean you have a pretty face, beta. But lose some weight if you want to find a nice handsome groom for yourself.
My mind was split into two, the silencer and the woofer. The silencer was telling me to shut up and ignore. The woofer just wanted to stand up and shut her up. Strangely enough, the silencer won.
After she had gone, my friends were staring at me.
Ms. Slender Bones: What happened to you, the Fatasstic Chick? You were silent. Why on earth did you not shut up that woman? I am stunned. I noticed it at the dance rehearsals too. Have you fallen for their words? Please say no.
Me: *eating the pasta* Chill Babes! It’s nothing like that. I could’ve shut her up and you know that. But, we are at our friend’s wedding, and I didn’t want to spoil it. Looking at her, I knew that if I had reacted, she would have turned it into a big issue and ruined the mood of everyone. Sometimes, the best answer is silence. And, that doesn’t mean I have become a victim of her or anyone’s fat shaming.
Another friend: Hmmm… but seriously, will you not do anything about it?
Me: Nahhh… Not right now… BTW…. Let’s get some brownie and ice-cream?
And, we went to the dessert area. With brownie and ice-cream, we also picked up some jalebi and strawberry mousse. We were just returning to our table when the “aunty/bua” bumped into us again.
I swear I don’t know how but as she was walking away, she stumbled onto something and spilled all the food on her plate onto her saree.
Karma, was it? Well, I leave that up to you to decide.
In the end, I want to highlight one crucial point. It’s wrong to shame and blame the food for someone’s size. Yes, one should eat healthy and nutritious food. But this rule is for everyone. People don’t understand this. They believe that if you are thin, you can eat anything. And, “god-forbid” if you are “fat”, food is not for you. Why, I mean why?
Why is it okay for a “thin” girl to eat a whole pizza by herself but very wrong for a “fat” one. Why do people in the latter case say that ‘you’re harming your health.’ or ‘do you know about its consequences?’, etc. etc.
Why are we judged on the contents and size of our meals? Why, the reason given for not eating junk is not because it’s not nutritious and healthy, but because we are fat, and so we can’t eat it?
With #Cuttheshamenotfat I just want to tell every “fat” girl, don’t get depressed.
#Fatasstic Tip 4
Don’t stop eating. Don’t curse your food. We all have cravings and it’s natural. Don’t crush them. Love your food and love yourself.
And remember, you need a balanced diet to be healthy and fit. And, being fit and healthy is never about your body form, size or weight. So, next time, anybody shames your food, just ignore, and enjoy your meal.