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“I Saw The Vulgar Selfies In My Dad’s Mobile & Realized He’s Having An Affair”

  • IWB Post
  •  August 21, 2017


I was sending a message from my father’s phone as he had asked me to when Leena aunty’s messages popped up. The last one read, ‘Please don’t call me till 3, woh ghar par hai. Love you! *heart smiley*’

IWB’s section, “Censored,” features real women/men narrating real stories. Stories, which are usually censored by the society are given a platform.

There is absolutely no room for judgment or condemnation. Women/men can open up about their personal issues, reach epiphanies, inspire people all around the world, and seek an expert advice. Read on, and get your dosage of empowerment.

23-year-old Abhinav (name changed) lives in Nagpur, Maharashtra, and contacted IWB via email to share his story and seek the advice of the readers.

(Please note: On Abhinav’s request, all the names and a few places have been changed to maintain his anonymity.)


Last year in February, on the eve of my parents 25th anniversary, my elder sister, Tashi, too, got engaged. I still remember the day so vividly. My father had gifted my mom, a stunning diamond necklace, and even got her a silk saree for the celebration. My mother was beyond ecstatic, more so, because her daughter had finally found her life partner. We returned from the party at 3 in the morning and my mother’s words that she said to me when we were retiring to our rooms, still echo in my ears, “I couldn’t have wished for anything better. Your father is a wonderful man. He has given me so much happiness and I hope that Prakrit (Tashi’s fiancé) is also like your father and gives all the love to my beautiful little Tashi.” Sleepy as I was, I never knew then, that her words would tear me up after a year.

5 months back, just before the end of financial year, my dad and I were sitting discussing the papers to be submitted to our CA for audit. My dad handed me his phone and told me to message something to the CA. He excused himself to the washroom and I was typing the message when the phone beeped. It was Leena aunty’s WhatsApp message.

‘Please don’t call me till 3, woh ghar par hai. Love you! *heart smiley*,’ read the message and I was shell-shocked.

Leena aunty’s husband is a close friend of our neighbors and we have only met them a few times when Dr. Anand (neighbor) called us over a get-together dinners.

I was dumbfounded and my hands started shivering. Maybe out of reflex, I hurriedly opened her chat window to check for other messages. There were only a few, but they were enough to confirm that something was going on between them. Just then, my father came and saw me looking puzzled.

I quickly changed the tab and returned the phone to dad after sending the message to the CA. I couldn’t sleep that night. I felt like crying! How can this happen to us! We were a perfect family and everything was going alright. I didn’t know how to handle this. However, by morning, I had decided not to jump to conclusions and be double sure before thinking of any possible solution for it.

On the breakfast table, I deliberately brought the topic of planning a picnic with all the family friends. My mother got excited and agreed to do it. Papa, too, agreed. I asked who all will we invite and mom started telling all the names and then I suggested that why don’t we call Leena aunty and Gautam uncle (Leena aunty’s husband). I was observing my father’s reaction to my suggestion. To my surprise, he was very casual and in fact, was not in favor to call them. When I asked him the reason, he said that we didn’t know them well enough. This episode confused me more. I didn’t know how to get to the truth of it. I decided to investigate more and then come to any conclusion.

Every day, I tried to get hold of papa’s mobile to know what’s going on, but, I realized that nowadays, Papa didn’t leave his mobile unattended and carried it everywhere. I was growing more suspicious and it was killing me inside. Then one day, Papa was doing his Pooja and his phone was on charge. I took this as an opportunity and took his mobile. What I found left me speechless, hurt, and pained beyond words could ever explain. I not only found ludicrous and vulgar texts but also found very improper selfies in the media. And, it wasn’t just of Aunty’s but of my dad’s too. It made me jump and the phone fell slipped from hands. I put back the phone on charge and rushed to the bathroom. I was crying and gasping for breath. Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe. I splashed water on my face umpteen times but the tears didn’t stop. Mom was calling me, shouting my name. I couldn’t say a word. She came to my room and started tapping the door. I could only manage, ‘Coming, Maa.’ After 20 mins, I came out. Mom and dad were waiting for me at the dining table for breakfast and I didn’t know how to face them. Somehow I managed!

And, this ‘managing’ has been going on for five months now. I don’t check my father’s phone anymore because I’ve realized that it only adds to my anger and my depressive state of mind. However, I have started noticing things and now, I can tell that when he has met Leena aunty and when he’s going out with her. I still don’t know how long has the affair going on but, from the texts I have read, I suspect that it has been going on for two years at least. Yes, papa was cheating on mom even when we celebrated their 25th anniversary. My mom still thinks a world of him and I don’t think that she has any idea that he’s having an affair.

I don’t know how to handle this situation. I don’t know whether I should interfere or not. I cannot gather the courage to tell my mom about her husband’s affair. It will break her heart. Tashi got married last December and I cannot burden her with the truth about my cheating father. And, I have no confidence to confront my father. What will I say? How will he react?

I know this thing is eating me up inside and affecting not only my physical but, mental health, too. But, I cannot come up with a solution. Hence, I seek your advice. Please help me!


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2 thoughts on ““I Saw The Vulgar Selfies In My Dad’s Mobile & Realized He’s Having An Affair”


    U are really strong for holding all this inside for so long , i really think talk to your sister get her advice and somehow confront your dad and make him stop it .

  2.'Anugya khandelwal

    Hey, I know this is a very painful situation for you, one suggestion I would like to give is – Tell the truth to your mom very calmly, and let HER confront your dad and not you. Don’t let your dad know that you know this matter of his, because your mother can instead convince him to step back from this as they have one daughter who still have to get married, society pressure etc. One condition – Your mom need to act very very patiently and calmly, she will have to accept this problem and boldly deal with it, so you need to be a continuous back support for her (without letting your dad know). So this suggestion will depend on the nature of your mom which you must be knowing very well, whether she will be able to handle this maturely / practically or not.
    There are few more solutions that can help, more discussion on that, you can Mail me anytime without hesitation.
    Take care! :)


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