Saturday, October 21 2017, 09:21:09
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How Bad Can A Date Be Outside Marriage? Ask This Experienced Jaipuri Husband!

  • IWB Post
  •  October 21, 2015


So shall I swipe to the left or right? Oh no, I am not speaking about swiping my credit card, (Priyal does that so frequently in her shopping sprees, leaving a dent in my pocket) but about the power to choose or reject a girl (without her knowledge, of course).

As you know that lately I have become quite tech-savvy and apart from my late night rendezvous with skimpily clad women on the internet, I have also graduated to online dating.

I was blissfully unaware of these new wonders called online dating apps, until one of my friends showed me his profile on Tinder. At first I didn’t understand the concept.

“Yaar, how can you date online? Doesn’t dating involve candle light dinners and meeting in person?”

My friend gave me a pitiable glance and laughed.

But in dating apps you have the luxury to find out what is common between you the girl before you take it to the next level. (Given that by then your wife doesn’t get to know about her and kill you). “

So thus my tryst with Tinder began and by the end of that day, I had installed the app in my mobile, synced it with a fake profile of mine on Facebook and was ready to test it.

As I was busy at the dinner table with my phone, Priyal had given me a dirty look and had commented,

“What is it? A new app of the Fashion TV?”

“No dear, I am checking out this app of devotional songs that Ramesh uncle had sent me.”

By the looks of it, Priyal didn’t seem to have bought what I had said, but she didn’t ask any more questions as she had to go visit her friend. Good part was, she was going for a night-stay at her’s.

After browsing for sometime, I found a seemingly handsome picture of an unknown man and equipped with that, I was ready to try my luck in the dating world.

After that there was no stopping me as I was busy deliberating that whether I should swipe left or right. You see, swiping left means rejecting a person and right means liking. If she likes your profile back then we can start dating.MTI0ODc0NDM4OTY0NDUzNDQ4

  1. Sonal, 25, 2 miles from your location.

Na… her face is slightly out of shape and she is not that fair either. (The fact that I am ten years older than her and was inappropriately judging her by her facial features doesn’t bother me at all.) I swipe left.

  1. Rashneen, 27, 5 miles

Err… I like her looks but I don’t know why she seems to me a little bit arrogant. I have already one arrogant woman in my life who every now and then gives me a heart attack, so swipe left.

After going through countless profiles, I finally have my first right swipe…

Rachna, 31, 3 miles

There was something about her face that I really liked and it didn’t take long to like her profile.

It happened that next day I woke up to see that she had also liked my profile and thus our conversations started.

I had, of course, given all the wrong details and moonlighted as an engineer with a job at some MNC and had also bragged about my tight fitness regime and how I was single and ready to mingle.

She said that she was an interior designer looking for a ‘fling’ and was quite ‘intrigued’ by me.

After checking the meaning of ‘fling’ in the online dictionary, I said that the situation with me was also quite the same, and thus our conversations went on, especially in Priyal’s absence.

And FINALLY she asked me the question that I was waiting to hear.

“Shall we meet?”

Obviously, I said yes and we decided to meet Sunday evening when Priyal wouldn’t be at home. Our meeting place? A local restaurant.

But fate had other plans for me. Otherwise why would this date turn out to be one of the greatest shocks of my life.

Anyway, for the first time in my life I was not late and trust me for people who know me, it is nothing short of a miracle.

So, with bated breath, I took out my car and drove towards the hotel where we had fixed our rendezvous.

I even picked up some flowers on my way. No one can say which type they were, since I am not aware about flowers apart from roses!

She told me that she would be waiting for me inside the restaurant.

…And here comes the surprise.

My god! Is this a dream. What the hell is my mother-in-law doing at the same place where I am supposed to meet my date for the night?

I check the number of the table that she had messaged me, and Noooo…It’s the same one! There seems to be some mistake, this can’t be real.

But why is she mummy ji wearing a filmsy dress, of the same colour that Rachna had told me she would be sporting?

Then it came on me as a thunder!

I was a person who had come to a date with his mother-in-law and had been chatting with her for all these months on tinder.

Now, she too had seen me and from the ashen expression on her face, it was clear that she too was not enjoying the situation.

I took a seat and we both sat awkwardly.

“Err… mummy ji whose picture was it?

“Well unlike you, who used a fake dp, it happens that the photo was taken when I was in college.”

“Oh..I didn’t know that you were quite the looker those days.”

And thus we extended the olive branch to each other and without mentioning our awkwardness spoke about life and other things.

I know, it seems unbelievable, but it was good to at least know one aspect of mummy ji that was not hell bent on criticizing me.

So we spoke about her joint pains, how tinder is quite the hit nowadays, and how my daughter Anjali no longer wants to hear her bedtime stories as she is growing up and becoming mature.

I’ve also realized that irrespective of one’s age, every human being has the right to seek love. Just because my MIL is very very old and is a widow doesn’t mean she can’t have a partner! You’ve got my back, mummy ji.

The bad-date wasn’t that bad, after all for the first time in our lives, both the Saas and Damaad were on the same page. Priyal should never ever know about this date gone wrong! NEVER.

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