HEY GIRL! SCARED OF MARRIAGE?
- IWB Post
- January 12, 2014
Each time our generation sits down to think of a relationship, the first thing that comes to our minds is complications. Relationships today have become synonymous to troubles and heartbreaks. Casual flings? Yeah may be. But commitments are definitely not our ‘thing’. True love is clichéd and anything that stops us from living the kind of life we dreamt of, does not belong in our world. But for a second, do we sit and reflect upon why people so foolishly in love are the ones we secretly appreciate. Why can’t we get our eyes off that cute couple which can’t get their hands off each other in the mall? There’s got to be something about relationships that makes people indulge in them. Something that makes us smile each time we think of it. Not that there aren’t any flaws and loopholes. But what’s life without any spice anyways! Do we not know each coin has two sides after all? Why look and think only of the one that appeals to us as the last thing on the planet. Why not for once, turn the coin and see the side that shows us all good thing imaginable. Alright, so before we start getting carried away with the pros and cons etc of relationships, let us get to the point I started to write down about – Long Term Relationships aka Marriages (not that each long term relationship means a marriage but most normal ones do).
Why is it that our generation twitches at even the mention of marriage? We can’t stand in a room where this topic starts up. And somehow we pity each couple who falls in this trap. May be for once we need to look beyond all the fears the society has built in us. May be we should realize that gone are the days when a girl was just another addition to the family and that now she’s someone who will hopefully bring you the life you always wanted. Not saying you can’t have that life alone, but you might as well share it with someone equally awesome as you!
So let us break it down to why are marriages are a lot more fun than what you have heard of it. Trust me they are! No, it isn’t my experience saying it (because I’m ‘luckily’ single so far) but it is my thoughts and imaginations that make me confident about it. And I am sure a lot many other ladies will agree with me. Weddings today are so not about adjustments and compromises. It is definitely not the time when all you do all day is plan the next meal for your so-called family or think about how to please your in-laws who are to visit you over the coming week. Weddings today are a lot more than setting aside your dreams and goals to help some jackass fulfill his own. Why can’t we find a path in between? Let’s accept it; there always is a mid way. Let us look at it this way, just because you can’t choose green as the wallpaper of your bedroom because your husband likes blue, doesn’t mean its compromise. Why were pastels and shades introduced after all? If you want to plan a trip to Europe while he plans for USA, may be you can cover both or choose a third place altogether. There’s always a way out. What matters is how smoothly we remove the mental block off our otherwise stubborn brains and decide to be lil’ flexible. Even a newly found friend deserves a bit of your flexibility and openness to change!
I am definitely the kind of person who will make my husband a best friend first before we head on to the scared bond of matrimony. And I’m sure its smoother like that. The more you think of a wedding as a lifetime commitment the worse your brain makes it for you. For once think of it as a best friend you got for your entire life. Someone to be a part of all the crazy stuff you have been planning to do forever. You don’t have to depend on your girls (even though it is more fun) and you can count on someone to take those visits to the mountains and deserts with you. You know there’s this special someone waiting for you each time you get home after a long day. You know you get to cuddle up and sleep each night and that no matter how bad your day was you’ll wake up smiling. Long story short, your life is the way you want to make it. Married or single, you get to decide the way it turns out to be. You may be the person who wants to sit home and plan meals for the family but why not make each meal their best. Whatever you do, however you do it, make it the way you dreamt of it as. Make it one of those kinds you see in the movies and silently hope for. Not to spoil the end for you, but at the end of it is when you and your partner are watching your grandchildren play in one of your lavish villa gardens; you will know all the efforts you put in all these years were worth the pain. I can’t help but quote a tagline so often heard in all TV channels, “It’s your life, make it large”. Cheers ladies!
By AVANI DADHICH, Jaipur resident
HR executive, Teamlease Service, Bangalore