Here Are 7 Things We Should Stop Doing If We Want The #MeToo Movement To Thrive In India
- IWB Post
- October 8, 2018
A lot seems to be happening around as the Me Too movement finally finds its way to the Indian shores. As the men get taken down one after the other, it is time we realise the sensitivity of the movement and understand how to take it in the right direction.
We have thus compiled a list of seven things that you should steer clear of if you want #MeToo to have any real impact in India. (P.s. you should also steer clear of these if you don’t want to be called out along with the harassers). Here you go:
Stop questioning and slut-shaming the survivors
When Tanushree Dutta came out with her #MeToo story this time around, while many chose to listen to her, many others seem to have a plethora of counterpoints and questions that they want her to answer. For instance, questions pertaining to the fact that the same actress who shot so many intimate scenes with Emraan Hashmi in Aashiq Banaya Aapne has been raising issues with being inappropriately touched by Nana Patekar.
Tanushree shut all these nonsensical counterpoints at the We The Women Summit recently. As she explained what she did for Aashiq Banaya Aapne was consent, contrary to what was being expected from her at the sets of Horn Ok Pleassss. Talking about Aashiq Banaya Aapne, she explained, “I agreed to do that song. I chose it.”
We need to stop slut-shaming women and counter questioning them for their stories. Realise that you don’t have to question these women, their testimonies or feminism. Question the harasser instead.
— Sujnan (@heralesujnan) October 8, 2018
Stop looking out for the perfect victim
Somehow we seem to be in the constant search of a perfect victim. Who is a perfect victim, you ask? Someone who perfectly fits in the narrow precepts of the idea of sati-Savitri and, more importantly, appears to be suitably traumatised.
Please, for the love of God, refrain from making stupid comments like why are you even reporting it if you are not traumatised. The presence of trauma faced by the survivor or lack of it is no yardstick to decide the gravity of harassment faced by her, it also is not a license to nullify it.
Stop questioning the timeline of reporting the harassment
Imagine the kind of strength that it must have taken for someone to garner the courage to finally come out with what happened to her after all the time that she took. Respect her for it, and support her, instead of bringing her down by asking questions like what took you so long.
Remember, the reporting time of a sexual misconduct has nothing to do with its legitimacy.
“One always remembers the person who molested you and we have written to the Law Ministry that one should be allowed to complain without any time limit,” Women and Child Development Minister Maneka Gandhi said in a recent press conference recognising the same.
Stop sympathizing with the harassers
In my opinion, supporting the harasser is worse than being the harasser or at least akin to it. There is no reason that we should cut them any slack. Also, remember that the so-called “apologies” being offered by all these accused men are because of the fact that they have finally been called out. There is nothing so heroic about out. Honestly, going by what most of them have said, (where they are trying so hard to offer an explanation for their misconducts), they do not even qualify as apologies.
They have been called out, by multiple women, have no other way to save their face, and thus the apologies. We also need to understand that being found out doesn’t make them the victims now (sad that we need to specify it).
Yes, your idols are coming down and sorry but we are not sorry. Recognise it, accept it, and face it. Also, refrain from blind worship done by the likes of people in the comments below:
@mrrajatkapoor I say dose any of the women have guts to implicate the likes of Salman Khan, Shahrukh Khan who have also exploited many. Poor that these less powerful men are being targeted one after another
Dear All, I would like to make a couple of points about the screenshots that someone has shared just a couple of hours ago. It has taken me this much time because I saw them a bit late, and then I…
And on that note…
Stop expecting the survivors to forgive and forget
Irrespective of the social standing of the men who have been named, their age, their contribution to their respective career fields, they deserve to be penalised for all that they have done while taking advantage of their position.
Just because the accused happens to be one of your favourite writers doesn’t mean he deserves an exemption for being absolutely inconsiderate to a woman’s consent and autonomy. Listen to me people, he had it coming!
The survivors want you to understand them and not to tell them what to do, especially when it involves forgiving a sexual predator or forgetting his misconduct. NO!
ur letter of apology makes u look a really awesome person..sorry word appears so often,that if i were a woman who faced this,i would hav accepted it unconditionally..I’m sure those ladies would agree..#metoo brings public scrutiny that most men fear..good/bad? time will tell
— Chapmanwadi Cha Champion (@scaredindia) October 7, 2018
Stop being absolute chauvinists Dear men, stop supporting men just because they are men. Chauvinists have no place in the #MeToo conversation. Leave your chauvinism at home before you make a public show of your senseless sensibilities.
By apologising publicly, he has shown his human side. He was always my favorite actor, and today, he has become more favourite to me with a blend of more fanhood and high respect. @mrrajatkapoor you’re a gem of a person. — मैंने ट्विटर ख़रीद ली (@Baboosahab) October 8, 2018
For everyone else: hang him till death on the basis of any random accusation.
If the culprit belong to far left, pseudo-intellect cadre: ah! Poor guy, misjudgement, at least he is apologizing, an RSS guy wouldn’t have apologized!
Where r all d feminist now? Bloody hypocrites!
— Abhinav Singh (@12SINGA) October 7, 2018
It’s high time you wake up from your sound sleep of oblivion and open your eyes to what’s happening around you. Also, before making fleeting, insincere comments on a global movement of such gravity and proportion, educate yourself!
This tip should really come in handy before you when you contemplate posting tweets like these and make a fool of yourself:
@mrrajatkapoor Why all of a sudden this apology note ?