Gemini Dhar Teaches Women To Be Self-Reliant By Taking Charge Of Their Lives
- IWB Post
- February 12, 2018
Gemini Dhar lost her father at the age of 16, and the responsibility of taking charge of her own life and earning for the family came to her shoulders. She managed to emerge victorious in the face of all the challenges and is now teaching others to lead a happy life.
For over 24 years, she has been working with several people, including celebrities, CEOs, homemakers, and children, to help strengthen their core belief systems and bring balance in their life. She has also written a book called 9 Ways to Empower.
A fashion designer turned writer and motivational speaker, she is working for the greater good by empowering women and children to take charge of their life. She believes that if we are willing to do something, we can surely make it happen. In this conversation, she tells us about her book, motivational speakers, and the impact they have on our lives. Excerpts from a chat:
Let’s start by understanding what a take-charge expert is.
A take-charge expert is someone who helps you develop your power belief, take charge and direct your own life on your own terms. People don’t have to put up with things that bother them, and by taking charge, they can change their life’s course the way they want. I work with women and children and enable them to take charge of their life.
Tell us about the time you started taking charge of your own life and witnessed dramatic results.
I started about four years ago. I trained with a UK-based mentor and worked extensively on my belief system and started taking charge of my life. I had a very successful career as a fashion designer, but somehow I felt unhappy and decided to change that. From that moment, I started taking charge of my life. I try to incorporate all the knowledge and experience that I have gathered over the years in my services to enable others to take charge of their life.
What are the main challenges you see women facing, which inhibit them from taking charge?
They are dependent on others for each and every thing. Whether it’s financial or any other decisions, they always seek validation. Most of them just hope and pray for everything to fall in place. I believe that hopes and prayers never work unless and until you take actions.
Can you suggest some solutions for this? What can we do in our daily life to develop the ‘I can’ mindset?
We can only bring about the change if we act on it instead of just sitting and thinking. When I work with women, I conduct this writing exercise to understand their strengths and weaknesses to gauge what holds them back. After that, over a period of six months, we mentor them to act on things that they want to do but can’t because of some insecurities and pessimism. It’s like riding a bicycle, you fall down once, twice and the third time you get it right, but you need to dare to take that first step. Hence, exploring belief systems and going out of your comfort zone is essential to develop the ‘I can’ attitude. Extraordinary people do extraordinary things because they act on what they want to achieve. The most important part of my program is to make women accept themselves the way they are because that’s when you can achieve what you want.
Tell us about how you empower children to take charge of their life.
I always wanted to be a mom. I work with children via NGOs. I have two kids and have learned a lot from them. Children always do things from inspiration. When you accept them, they completely trust you. I work with Bosco Boys’ home orphanage. I have conducted 7-8 sessions till now. We just need to accept the children and not force-feed our opinions. If you can do this, you’ll immediately see a quick transformation in them. It is imperative to develop ‘I can’ attitude. Because these small things go a long way when they grow up and will help them to become better individuals. That’s why I stress on power beliefs.
Nowadays there are many happiness experts and motivation experts. How does one select the right mentor or an expert?
I think you need to select the experts and mentors who walk the talk. By that I mean, follow someone who has practiced what they preach or has gone through similar experiences in life. I primarily focus on women and children because my experience as a woman and as a mother has enriched me with insights that I think might be valuable to other women and children. Firstly, you need to assess what you want and, accordingly, select a mentor for yourself.
Could you discuss the role of technology in the field of motivation experts, speakers, etc?
I am a huge fan of digital technology because of the enormous reach it has. For example, I can only talk to a few hundred people in a hall but on the digital platform, there’s no definite number of your audience. You can talk to people across continents. I know a YouTuber, her name is Niharika Singh and she has a huge following. When she joined the #MeToo movement, it inspired a lot of people to come out with their own experiences. The point is you can spread the message quickly and everywhere because of the digital medium. Even my children use social media extensively. It’s a double-edged sword, you can either use it for your benefit or for destruction.
What inspired you to write a book?
A did a lot of digital programs. I am also building a learning community. In this book, I have highlighted nine principles, values and beliefs that every woman must follow to become the best version of herself. I have covered topics such as the importance of dreaming, financial literacy, and saying no. These are some of the basic principles that every woman can follow, irrespective of age. I have also written some exercises that they can start to know themselves better. Most of them are writing exercises. I have utilized my years of experience and my beliefs to write this book. I believe that every woman must take action for what she wants and stand for her own rights.
Tell us about some things that people get wrong about motivational experts like you.
With growing number of films and books on motivation and changing your life, people want results immediately. But unless and until they act on it they won’t get the results. It’s like knowing the exercise won’t help you build muscles, you have to lift the weight to strengthen your core. Hence, motivational talks can be an ignition to their inner engineering, but at the end of the day, it’s you who can make a difference in your life. I don’t mostly do one-hour speeches. I believe it takes more than a couple of hours to impact someone’s belief system.
Hence, we have six months programs where we empower you to know yourself better and take charge. How you perceive somebody and what they say is your choice at the end of the day and whether to imbibe those teachings in your life is always an option you have. Investing in yourself is of utmost importance to live the life of your dreams.
What advice will you give to the millennial crowd who seem to be lost and figuring out their way?
Whenever you are lost, it is important to sit and assess your situation. You need to ask yourself what are the things that you want or are trying to achieve and why do you want that. By asking these questions, you’ll get more clarity and will be able to choose a path accordingly. Introspection is the key to get your answers.