Wednesday, September 20 2017, 02:50:57
  • fatasstic
  • fatasstic
  • She Says

Don’t give away your daughter with Kanyadaan!

  • IWB Post
  •  October 16, 2014


‘The big fat Indian wedding’ is not just a term. We are famous for buying the most luxurious items, couture, cuisine; book best hotel or destination for the weddings. But, when it comes to traditions, we try to shorten them. A wedding which is petite and yet perfect.

We are the new generation who plan for a wedding that is super luxurious yet ‘one-of-a-kind’. Even the valuable 7 wedding vows are interpreted in easy language so that everyone can understand. After all, who would like to be stay awake whole night for things that are not making any sense?

But this is the impatient and curious new generation. What about the parents? We have heard they are skipping a very important ritual – ‘Kanyadaan’!

Kanyadaan is a pious ritual in which the father hands over all his rights and duties towards his daughter to her prospective groom. It is said to bring fortune as well as relief from the sins for the bride’s parents. The parents offer their daughter to the groom, who is their most cherished gift. As a symbol of acceptance, the groom touches the right shoulder of the bride, promising to take care of her and holding her responsibility.


While this may sound a bit offensive to some, the ritual is carried out in every Hindu home that bear daughter. But these days, many parents are choosing not to do the Kanyadaan anymore as they don’t like the idea of ‘giving away the daughter’.  This new trend believes that when parents themselves treat their own daughter as a commodity, how they can expect some strangers to respect their daughter.

Having mentioned that, we want to throw light on another aspect and address directly to those parents who take the concept of Kanyadaan too seriously. These parents totally forget that they have a daughter after marrying her off. Such parents can be easily found around us and you can listen them saying – ‘A daughter is a stranger who has to go to another home one day’, ‘She must not bring her personal marital problems to us, this is not right’. With the courtesy of such parents, we hear news of harassment after marriage. Recently when a daughter-in-law was kept hostile in bathroom for 3 yrs by her in-laws, we wondered why her own parents never took the matter critically. Well, they performed Kanyadaan, you see.

We are not asking you to cut off this ritual or perform it diligently. Whatever you choose, just make sure you don’t go to the literal meaning of the word ‘Kanyadaan’.  Until someone is really superstitious, he/she won’t let the weddings rituals get altered. Are you one of them? Or you believe in the standard elements like Kanyadaan and think no Hindu wedding is complete without them?

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