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  • fatasstic
  • She Says

Confessions of a mathematically weak husband

  • IWB Post
  •  March 28, 2015

Umm…what is 23+27? Easy, 45…

Damn it! The calculator here says 50.

I know, you must be thinking that why I am suddenly interested in maths.

It all started this Sunday when Priya was busy selling old newspapers. So why do women derive so much pleasure from selling old newspapers? Every Sunday, I would see my wife Priya happily arguing (read bargaining) with the kabadiwala (the guy who buys the newspapers) for five or ten more rupees. I wonder where this sense of saving money goes when my dear wifey finds no qualms spending chunks of my hard earned money on shopping.

I generally don’t read newspapers (so boring) but today in one of the papers which were up for sale, I found something which caught my attention.

Bride refuses to marry groom because he couldn’t correctly say that what 15+6 is.

For the next two minutes I myself try to figure out that what is the correct answer and finally after much calculation I understand that the answer is 21.

“I can’t believe my eyes! My husband, reading a newspaper??? Am I dreaming??”

Uh oh…Priya has caught me red handed!

As I had expected, Priya laughed loudly when she saw what I was reading and then muttered to herself, “god knows why I didn’t ask this question at the time of my marriage. I would have been saved from a lifetime of trouble”

Now this is seriously insulting. I might be bad in maths but I am not the only one. I suddenly feel sympathy for that guy who was rejected because of his lack of mathematical knowledge.

“What’s so funny? She needed a husband, not a maths teacher!”

My retort sounds satisfactory to my ears, but Priya blows it off with her next line.

“Well her actions are testimony to the fact that she wasn’t in such dire need of a husband.”

A sudden thought crosses my mind that what would happen if a prospective groom had to appear in a test to be eligible for being married? A test for being a good husband!

Surely all this talk is rubbish because being a man is the ultimate end of every argument. But I doubt that Priya will be much willing to buy this point.

There is an old saying that soulmates think in the same lines. But I am horrified as Priya echoed my own thoughts.

My counter is not that strong, “so what about women? There should be a test for being a wife as well. Isn’t it?”

Priya’s answer left no more space to argue, “But we do have a test for prospective brides, don’t we? In an arranged marriage, the way everyone from a groom’s family constantly asks the girl about the chores that she is supposed to know, is it anything less than an exam?”

She again has a point. I remember that once I had seen the parents of a friend of mine asking such questions to a prospective bahu.

What are the things that you can cook?

My son expects his bride to be fairer.

We don’t want a college going girl as our bahu. They are not gharelu (domestic) enough.

Why is your hair not longer?

Well, I accept that as compared to these, the question about the sum of 15+6 does seem to be quite innocent and logical!

What if I had been asked such questions before getting married? Although I know that Priya would kill me if she hears this but I wouldn’t have hesitated even for a moment before punching my future in laws or whoever the moronic relative might have been.

I scarily imagine what would have happened if instead of repeating wedding vows, I had to answer complex maths problems during my wedding. I shuddered at the very thought of sitting cluelessly in front of all the guests unable to answer the questions. Who knew that the literacy of men would suddenly be such an issue? Unlike earlier, nowadays it seems that being a man is not enough to be a good husband.

However, it mustn’t have been too easy for the girl to reject the man. While being surrounded by hostile males it does take a lot of guts to stand up to them.

What the hell! Why am I thinking like a feminist once again?????

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