Friday, October 20 2017, 11:37:03
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  • She Says


  • IWB Post
  •  January 30, 2014


Balance – seems a simple enough word on the surface but underneath it teems with lies and truths, with compromise and courage, with past memories and future expectations and much more.

What does balance mean? A state of equilibrium and equal distribution of weight , amount etc. It also means mental steadiness and emotional stability. Steadiness and stability, easy words but difficult to achieve.

We are told to balance studies and play, balance home and job, balance in- laws and parents balance earning and expenditure and more. And we think we are balancing it but underneath, the lies and compromises slither silently and also raise their heads now and then.

Balancing studies and friends, we bunk school and go for a movie. The memory lies quietly, asleep, raising its head decades later when we are scolding our own kids for bunking. It looks at us quietly and steadily till it strips us inside of our credibility as a parent.

Balancing home and job is the toughest, it’s a road hewn with compromise, lies and buried expectations. It’s a tough embroidered blanket where each flower is a million colours of support and love of family and spouse. It has thorns of missed deadlines, passed over promotions, sick children, family functions, and social obligations. The flowers have more thorns than usual and the thorns prick often initially and then not at all or vice versa.


And then the bane of life, balancing blood family and in-laws, beneath the smiles of balance are buried mounds of gritted teeth, tears and arguments with self and spouse. Beneath every reluctant ‘yes’ are a million screaming ‘NO’. The tiny tadpoles of ‘no’ swim in our minds, they get into our very bloodstream and may even make us sick. Some of them die and some grow into ugly and fat toads which sit and croak at us at the most uncomfortable times.

And now the waterloo of all balancing : earnings vs expenditure. A stream of paper runs below it, of loans, mortgages and false accounts, of unpaid bills and pending payments. Once in a while it becomes a tidal wave which threatens to submerge everything in it – love, relations, friends – but if we are very fortunate we continue to wade in the stream, only getting stuck now and then in the paper.

So we carry on balancing our human face with inhumanity growling beneath. At times it claws up to the surface leaving bloody scratched before we manage to push it below.

And many times the balance topples, topsy turvy, equilibrium gone, stability gone… what remains?

JWB’s Answer on this question of Dr. Anita is Relationships with Self that will help to emerge from ashes. AND WHAT IS YOUR ANSWER?

By Dr. Anita Hada Sangwan,

Talk show host at “ETV Rajasthan”. Activist NGO “Prem Mandir Sansthan”. Member of ‘RAYS”- for HIV+ve Children. Volunteer for Eye Donation. Founder member – Justice for Women. Writer

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