It is obvious for a woman to find herself devastated and shattered after her spouse’s demise. She finds herself to be a sudden single mother with a pile of responsibilities and emotions thrown onto her. Jacqueline Miller wrote about seven women who rediscovered their lives after losing their significant other.

On Super Bowl Sunday 2002, my husband didn’t wake up. He died of a heart attack in his sleep. I was devastated.

I became a suddenly single mom, left to raise my six-year-old and eleven-year-old sons, while managing a demanding career. Life as we knew it was shattered, and I feared I’d never be happy again.

Fast forward to 2015.

I am the mom of two phenomenal young men who are thriving. I have a new business, three published books, a weekly radio show, a blog and an awesome man in my life who loves me and my children.

I am happy again.

There are women, like myself, all over the world who found themselves suddenly single moms. I wanted to share seven of their stories, to show that loss does not have to equal lost.

Tracey Newsome
Occupation: Marketing Consultant

When did you become suddenly single?
2003

What were the circumstances of your spouse’s death?
Tony had been complaining about a backache. We treated it as a backache for a few days but there was still no improvement. One day his lip went numb, so we went to the emergency room. They sent him home with muscle relaxers. He woke up around 5 a.m. to go downstairs to watch TV and collapsed on the floor. He had suffered a pulmonary embolism.

Number of children; ages at the time?
Two; 9 and 7

What advice would you give to other women who have found themselves suddenly single?
Don’t let anyone tell you how to mourn, it’s unique and personal and there’s no “right way” to do it.

Current relationship status?
Committed relationship for 7.5 years

Anne Lawrence
Occupation: Writer, life mentor, owner of a B&B

When did you become suddenly single?
2002

What were the circumstances of your spouse’s death?
He committed suicide.

Number of children; ages at the time?
Two; 12 and 6

What advice would you give to other women who have found themselves suddenly single?
To understand that grief is complicated. You’ll have good days (or moments) throughout the devastation. Don’t feel guilty when you feel relief or joy, take them when they appear.

Current relationship status?
Married

Ann V. Rollins-Boyd
Occupation: Teacher’s Assistant and Tutor

When did you become suddenly single?
February 2008

What were the circumstances of your spouse’s death?
Complications from aortic dissection following surgery.

Number of children; ages at the time?
Three; 7, 8 and 12

What advice would you give to other women who have found themselves suddenly single?
It’s going to hurt like hell. In the beginning, you’ll remember mainly the great times you had together. Later, you will remember the disagreements but will still smile. Why? Because it was those things that framed your wonderful relationship. Take your time doing your usual everyday routine and remember to love yourself, so that you can care and love the rest of the different parts of your life.

Current relationship status?
Single. Ready to date and would love to experience marriage again.

Carol Lee
Occupation: Nutritional Therapist and Children’s Author

When did you become suddenly single?
2007

What were the circumstances of your spouse’s death?
My husband died at age 47, a year and a day after diagnosis. He had mesothelioma, an asbestos-exposure related cancer.

Number of children; ages at the time?
Two; 10 and 8

What advice would you give to other women who have found themselves suddenly single?
Talk about death factually and share your sadness with your children, they learn to grieve and readjust by watching you. Talk about the person you miss often so they feel able to do so as well, when they are ready.

Current relationship status?
I have been in a relationship for 2 years.

Michele C. Allen
Occupation: Director, Plant Operations

When did you become suddenly single?
March 2012

What were the circumstances of your spouse’s death?
Four months after relocating from Richmond, VA to Nashville, TN , Michael was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. His only symptoms were stomach pains. He was given four-to-six months to live. He actually lived for 14 months.

Number of children; ages at the time?
One; 7

What advice would you give to other women who have found themselves suddenly single?
My advice is to choose to live. Enjoy your new life to the fullest. Two weeks before my husband’s death he was told that there were no further treatments available to fight his cancer. That night we sat at the kitchen table and cried because we knew this was the end. He told me that it was ok. He said that he had lived a good life. He said that he didn’t get to do everything he wanted to do, but enjoyed everything he was able to do. I recognized at that moment that we never know when our time here on earth will come to an end. However, at any point in our life, we should all be able to say that if it ended today, I lived a good life. At this moment, I am sitting at a luau in Honolulu, Hawaii. Following my own advice.

Current relationship status?
Single, but searching. I had a great marriage and I loved being married. I would love to marry again.

Deanna Lee Wessman
Occupation: Psychic Medium

When did you become suddenly single?
1994

What were the circumstances of your spouse’s death?
He was killed by a drunk driver.

Number of children; ages at the time?
Two; 4.5 and 9 months

What advice would you give to other women who have found themselves suddenly single?
Allow yourself to grieve. I didn’t, because I thought if I did. I would crumble into a million pieces and never come back together. I had to be strong for my kids. I finally allowed the sadness and loss to come through 20 years later. It was so much to carry for 20 years. Sometimes, too much. Take one day at a time and remember to breathe. People that you have always counted on or thought were your friends may disappear. Forgive them. They just don’t know what to do, or how to support you. It does get better. I promise. The numbness will go away. Life will be bright and beautiful again. However, you will never, ever be the same.

Current relationship status?
Happily married

Carla Wynn Hall
Occupation: Owner of publishing company

When did you become suddenly single?
1990

What were the circumstances of your spouse’s death?
He was killed in an explosion at his place of employment.

Number of children; ages at the time?
One; 2

What advice would you give to other women who have found themselves suddenly single?
Often when a woman becomes a widow and has children, she will meet the alter ego which only focuses on survival. Take great care to stay in the present moment and do the things you did before the trauma. You must be physically present for you, in order to be present for your children.

Current relationship status?
I am currently married as of Valentine’s Day 2014.

This article first appeared here.

Do you have a similar story to share? Write to us at contactjaipurwomenblog@gmail.com!