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3 Women Discuss How The Constant “When Are You Getting Married” Questions Might Affect Their Career

  • IWB Post
  •  March 30, 2019

When Ranbir Kapoor coolly stated, “22 tak padhai, 25 pe naukri, 26 pe chokri, 30 pe bachche, 60 pe retirement … dhat aisi ghisi piti life thodi jeena chahta hoon”, almost every one of us worshiped him for speaking our minds. But, as we know, our society has marked a solemn boundary for marriage which we can’t dare to cross.

The protocol for marriage is even more stringent for women. In pursuit of a “settled life”, societal pressure is throttling careers and other aspirations of women. It happen often yet is not discussed openly, because log kya kahenge!

Three young women tell IWB their views on how marriage will affect their careers.

Here are the excerpts:

In conversation with Sakshi Kumari
Sakshi

What are your views on marriage?

Marriage is something that not only binds two souls together but two families as well. It is known to be a completion of life as you find your better half. Being a support system, we can share every emotion along with responsibilities and decisions. Also, observing a change in society, it is good to see that nowadays both the partners are equally responsible for each and every phase of marriage.

Marriage and career can be considered as milestones in a person’s life. What is your take on that?

For a girl, it is very important to manage career and marriage at the same time. Career is important to become independent and create your own identity. I am working as an HR in a firm and would try to complete my ambitions in the same field. As per my opinion, if I want to grow professionally and personally, I would need a certain balance between career and marriage. With understanding between both the partners, one can easily manage both.

And what about how society pressurises women to marry early?

We are often bombarded with plans of getting married early or getting married just after graduation. But I can’t bury myself under hundreds of other responsibilities. We need to change the mentality of society. The society can teach us that every individual needs to study, make a career, earn money, take their own responsibility, and then get married.

 

In conversation with Aprajita Sahay
Aprajita

What are your views on marriage?

In India, marriage is not just a bond between two individuals but also a bond which is shared by two families. In my opinion, apart from society’s set definition about marriage, it is a feeling where you share a bond with your partner. You share every emotion of your life – happiness, sorrow, anger. It’s a special feeling.

Marriage and career can be considered as milestones in a person’s life. What is your take on that?

At this stage of life, I am trying to keep marriage and my career as my main priority. I am working at a PR firm and I aim to achieve more in the same field. But, my parents have always thought of getting me married as soon as possible.

And if we talk about marriage, I’d have to maintain a certain balance in order to focus on both of them. I would want a partner who would understand my priorities as well, and in turn, I would understand his. Because that’s what marriage is all about. Also, no one would like any sort of restrictions.

And what about how society pressurises women to marry early?

It is nearly impossible to change the mentality of the whole society. But as an individual, one can always fight for his/her rights. Leaving your house or leaving your parents can’t be considered as the only solution. Our parents need to understand our stance on our lives. A small change within a family can spread awareness about how society’s pressure is suffocating us slowly.

 

In conversation with Aakansha Ramdeo

Society

What are your views on marriage?

Marriage is a relationship with responsibility and should happen when both the partners are ready – emotionally, physically and socially. Marriage is a mixture of shared responsibilities, emotions while respecting each other’s personal space as well. Marriage is a beautiful bond but only when one is ready to get into it.  

Marriage and career can be considered as milestones in a person’s life. What is your take on that?

Currently, I am working as a software engineer in an IT firm. Career is an important part of our life; it’s a way to become independent. But when we talk about marriage, we also talk about how one must have to leave work to lead a happy married life. But I can’t let marriage become a barrier to my dreams. Marriage and work should be balanced and can only be done by the coordination and patience of both the partners. To work out all the situations both should support each other.

And what about how society pressurises women to marry early?

Our society’s mentality needs to be changed a lot. We need to sit with our parents and discuss how we are changing and they also need to change certain things as well. If they really want our happiness, they would need to understand what’s actually making us happy. A small change in our thoughts can influence someone else’s life decisions.

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